In Memoriam: Jeff Millar
May 23, 1967 —
April 21, 2008
The following notes represent our expressions of comfort to the Millar family during this difficult time.
The Women and Men of Vignette Corporation
I didn't know Jeff super well, but I am grateful to have had the opportunity to work with him, and get to know him some. He was a thoughful, funny, and whipsmart guy. I was always struck by what a genuine person he was, and the class with which he conducted himself. It was always a pleasure to work with Jeff, on the few occassions I did so. He had a larger than life personality, and could always manage to make me smile. I remember he once brought me back some maple syrup candy from his visit home, because he'd recalled a previous conversation we had when I told him I didn't eat sweets, and he was convinced I wouldn't be able to resist the maple syrup candy. He was right, although it was his thoughtfulness that made me try it... I ran into Jeff a little over a year ago, and while it had been several years since we'd worked together/seen eachother, running into him was such a pleasure and reminded me what a first class guy he was.
I will remember him fondly.
-Hillary Ebenstein Kilimnik
Jeff was not your average human being, he certainly was special. I remember how I would marvel at his ability to recall lines from movies, passages from books or quotes from speeches with incredible accuracy, not to mention with mischievous wit and a brilliant accent thrown in. His Sean Connery impressions delivered over some cocktails were especially enthralling.
I had the good fortune to work with Jeff on a number of occasions over the years, and saw firsthand his ability to delight an audience with his intellect, his passion and expression. I can’t say I have met anyone else with as much character as Jeff and the combination of such respect, cordiality and friendliness to others. It is one thing to be kind towards those you know, but it is especially endearing to see how Jeff extended the same warmth to strangers. There is much, much to learn from Jeff Millar.
Please extend my deepest sympathies to his family and friends.
Lee Shepstone
Hi,
I wanted to send on some of my memories of Jeff.
"I can't say that I knew Jeff intimately but our paths crossed on a number of occasions and I can say that it was a real pleasure to spend time with him. Whenever I heard he would be visiting a client site that I was working on I looked forward to the inevitable beer and belly laughs that would follow.
My first encounter with him was soon after the acquisition of Epicentric by Vignette when he was chosen as the person to educate the Epicentric team on the cool features of Vignette product suite. He was a larger than life presence in the meeting and entertained us all.
He was full of life whenever you encountered him and open to everyone. The type of person you wanted to be around to share a joke, learn a lesson or hear of his many life experiences. I will miss not having the opportunity to get to know him better but he is someone that will remain in my memory.
Attached is a little photo opportunity I convinced him to pose for. We had some fun taking that one and sums up how I will remember Jeff best."
- Conor Power
When I think of Jeff Millar, I can only smile. The very name brings positive energy and words certainly can’t do justice to the kind of light he brought to this world. A few of the words that come immediately to mind when I think of Jeff are brilliant, committed, passionate, focused, hysterical, class-act. Jeff approached everything with complete commitment and good humor; a true joy to be around. His enthusiasm was unmistakable and infectious. I also remember his “alter-ego”: Saul Zippelstinski. He would research competitors, download industry information, make certain we had comprehensive, up-to-date data, all under the moniker Saul Zippelstinski. His love for mob movies stands out too. His mobster impressions were absolutely timeless; I can hear him doing them now. When in the heat of a spirited competitive sales cycle, Jeff would stop at nothing to ensure team success, and you could be certain Jeff would lighten the mood when you needed it most.
Jeffrey, you will be missed. You touched MANY lives and we will all be forever enriched by having known you.
- Aldo Dossola
Vignette Alum
I am heartbroken by the loss of my dear friend Jeff. He brightened every room with his humor, theatrically delivered stories, dazzling piano playing, singing ability and hearty laugh. I learned more about grammar and word usage from Jeff than I had in school, and his amazing ability to make technology even vaguely understandable to the non-technical (me) was a true gift. The queen of England would have appreciated his cockeyed devotion to her, and Truman Capote would have marveled at Jeff's ability to quote from his more obscure work. It is impossible to remember Jeff and not smile.
Jeff was a kind, gentle, and generous soul who left us all with so very much. I am so grateful to have been his friend.
- Katie Bachner
To his parents and friends,
Jeff was part-genius, part-Webelo, and part-Connery; a rare mix for a Sales Engineer. Jeff was team-oriented and uplifting, even inside the pressure-cooker of 2001. SPQR!
Readers of these pages will see how much happiness and excitement Jeff added to our lives. Whether delivering a movie quote, or explaining a product offering, or helping an engineer with configuration details, or just sharing a drink and a story, it's easy to remember his big smile, and his laughing eyes.
To Jeff,
I can see your laughing eyes now. You're smiling about the customer's reaction to our new JSP model, and you're about to start ranting about Tcl, aren't you?
You're still with us, old friend, because our memories of you will
always bring a smile to our faces.
- Matthew Reiser
Vignette Sales Engineering, 1998-2002
I have struggled for the last few days now since I received a call in the middle of the night in Africa telling me the news. Honestly, being so far from home in a foreign land, for the last two days I've been hoping it has been a bad dream and someone is going to tell me it's just not true. I look at his name in my phone and think I can just ring him and he'll answer just like he always does. I must be able to have another conversation with him, to say more than I've said, to love him more than I've done. This is not to be. As the notes have come through and these very messages convey, it is all unfairly, sadly true. My beloved friend Jeff has not been able to fight off this terrible disease any longer. I saw many of the things people here see in Jeff - that he is a man of incredible love and integrity, that he is one of the most brilliant men I know with a sense of timeless fashion. That his humor is intoxicating. And that his consideration of others is completely rare and special - he was always generous and loving of all he met (even those he knew distantly) constantly thinking and asking after you and yours without a word or thought for himself. I can only hope that through these notes and our conversations now and to continue that we can all share the loving moments and joy Jeff brought to each of our lives.
I must say I am thankful to God that I moved to California in '96 with Jeff as one of the few friends I knew. He was an incredible companion, friend and help to me during this time and I'm glad I got to spend many a day and evening with him. I apparently have been one of the few fortunate ones to visit him at his home here in San Francisco and it was one of the few times I felt Jeff was letting me into who he was in his heart. It was always seemingly difficult for him to let me in, and I feel like somehow I must have let him down in my own inabilities to love without shortcomings.
I'm having a hard time sifting through all the things about Jeff to say something concise, although those of you that know me will recognize my complete inability to remember all the specific sayings and I'm praying you can help me fill in where my inadequate memory fails me. Please. Mostly I know the emotions, the moments, the looks, his voice. The way he would take my hand or kiss my cheek.
I remember his folded kerchief in his beautiful blue suit pocket - the small symbol of the gentleman, fashionable and timeless classic that he was.
I remember his love for the city and the country as we stood on the rooftop of his home and watched the Queen Mary sail into the bay.
I remember his beautiful voice as he would sing to me most anything.
I remember his gratitude for all he had - as an employee, as one working hard to become more official as an American, friends, family, home.
I remember his appreciation and kinship with James Stewart, as we shared lines from the movie and skipped singing and holding hands down the sidewalk as we left his favorite pub.
I remember his love for his local pub, the Blackhorse, how he would laugh and ring the bell as he shouted a round for the bar, joking that with only 10 seats in the bar it wasn't hard to buy cheap rounds, though I know if it was 1000 he would have just as easily done it.
And I remember how small and secure my hand felt in his.
I remember how you often never knew how serious his illness was as he spoke little of it, until one night I woke him once from an approaching diabetic coma.
I remember his patriotism and struggle with death of countrymen every memorial day.
I remember how much he loved my puppy Justice and would always offer to come see him, as we left a pub once just to walk down and check on him in the car. He always wanted to keep him and loved him so much, perhaps not even realizing how much this so endeared him all the more to me.
I remember doing the chicken dance with him at Oktoberfest in our striped socks - probably one of the best times I've had since I've been in San Francisco, we laughed so hard our sides were splitting.
I remember reading the Velveteen Rabbit to him atop Windy Hill, trying in some way to convey some kinship I felt with him about our joint struggle to feel really loved as the scruffy old stuffed horse described. Trying to help him see how very loved and amazing he is.
I remember how he would often call me, sometimes late at night, because he had a feeling I was struggling and wanted to let me know he was worried about me. And sometimes he would recite poetry to me.
I remember that I always felt I was his special one. More special than the rest. I imagine I will hear the same from others. But in some way I think I still secretly hope I was.
I pray that his family knows what an incredible and loving man they raised, and I hope they see now things that perhaps they never saw about his immeasurable capacity to love and how greatly loved he remains. I am so sorry that it is under these conditions that we all can now piece together the bits and pieces of our beloved Jeff and remember him together. I look forward to celebrating his life with each of you very soon I hope.
Until we meet again my friend, ol' building and loan pal,
- Lara
Jimmy Stewart (George): What do you want, Mary? Do you want the moon? If you want it, I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for you. Hey! That's a pretty good idea! I'll give you the moon, Mary.
Donna Reed (Mary Hatch Bailey): I'll take it! Then what?
Jimmy Stewart (George): Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve see, and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?
"Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?" - Clarence from It's a Wonderful Life
Jeff was the only guy at Vignette who was willing to give up his Sales Club trip for another SE. His great attitude will be missed. One thing was for sure, if you were around Jeff, you were going to be laughing!
Millar, I will think of you often and I will never forget you and all that you brought to a company that I called home for a long time.
Sincerely,
- Andy Stockglausner
Principal SE Vignette – 2000-2006
My Friend Jeff
A brilliant technologist, a never say no solder and most of all a true friend.
What an absolute pleasure to have known you as you were so much more than a coworker, but rather a true friend. After discussing all the complexities of technology with great passion, at the end of the day, you always made sure we talked about life and lessons in history.
As I leave a tear on the keyboard, just knowing we will forever miss you !
- Randy Cunningham
Funny, intense, generous, technical genius ... a few words that describe our friend and colleague
My memories of Jeff:
Vegas: designer suits and the Baccarat tables
Chocolate!
Witty wise cracks
The Outlook pop-up notification example - "Way COOL!"
Austin gatherings
Late nights working with Jeff on insane 1000 question RFPs that somehow always got assigned to Jeff
Customer sales meetings/demos where the AE simply introduced the team and Jeff did all the rest
Techno gadgets
Caring hugs whenever I needed a pick-me-up
Jeff,
Thank you for the laughs and the reminder to live our lives to the fullest. We will miss you being here with us in person, but your spirit will never leave us.
Autumn Helfert
This has been a tough reminder that none of us know how long we will dance on this big blue ball -- but Jeff did it well. I look forward to seeing him on the other side! Good bye my friend.
Todd and Katie
You will be missed!
Jeff you’re a guy who made people laugh and feel comfortable.
You’re the go to guy for so many things and it was my pleasure to work and know you.
Our hearts are with you,
-John Palazzolo
Jeff, Katie and I had adventures on the streets of Austin for no reason whatsoever. He attended my wedding, danced with my mother-in-law and she fell in love. The flight attendants at American knew him as the chocolate guy. He was the first person to play Bill O’Brian’s piano. He mourned long dead comrades. His depth of feeling knew no bound. He knew pain and sorrow, joy and love. He was an honorable man, a gentle man, a gentleman.
He never got to meet my baby daughter. She would have loved him too.
David Ashton
Jeff Millar, or Jeffrey MilllAAAARRRR as I always called him, was one of the smartest and most fascinating people I’ve known. We spent a lot of time together as a sales team in the late 90s and early 2000s. We have remained in touch and good friends over the ensuing years through phone calls, lunches and the annual Austere Memorial Day BBQ.
Jeffrey loved that BBQ. And although the food was good, it wasn’t the food that attracted Jeff, it was the gathering of people which included a number of former Vignetters. Jeff took it upon himself every year to deliver a bottle of Silver Oak Cabernet. I still have one of those bottles in my wine cellar. I remember very well, the BBQ the year before last, it was a hot afternoon, must have been almost 100 degrees and Jeffrey was right in there alongside me with both hands swinging my second set of special over-sized spatulas and forks flipping salmon, burgers, sausages and chicken that was cooking way too hot over the barrel sized BBQ, enough food for over 100 people! We were both sweating like champions, and Jeffrey had a huge grin on his face and a cold beer on a special little table beside him. : -) I’ll never forget that. That was Jeffrey, always there, always prepared to get his hands dirty and provide whatever assistance wherever he could. He was a guest!
I’ve noticed a common theme in the Vignette testimonials that will jump out at anyone; Jeffrey was a fascinating guy, he was a loveable guy, and he had a love for and command of language that is uncommon. In the early years of knowing Jeff we traveled quite a bit together. We spent some quality time. We shared a lot of stories. I heard many of the same stories others posted. The blue helmets over the middle east (I actually saw the scars in his calf), the beloved M5, Latin, great quotes…
[ there was one quote that he delivered so vividly and eloquently that I will never forget, it is from the movie Gladiator and is as follows:
The Roman Army is lined across a field
from the barbarians hidden in a Bavarian
forest on an Autumn day as dawn is fading
into a new day:
An officer asks the Roman General,
“Will they fight, Sir?”
“I don’t know,” he replied pensively.
A barbarian chief steps out into the
clearing from his concealment and shouts
some gibberish. He brandishes a huge
axe in one hand and holds up the
decapitated head of a rider in the other.
The rider was obviously the messenger of
the Roman army, sent to the barbarians
with an offer to the barbarians to surrender
without bloodshed to The Empire. The
chieftain hurls the head towards the
Roman line.
The general, with a pained look in
his eyes, whispers softly, “They say no.”
Quintus, the second in command
replies icily, “People should know when
they are conquered.”
The general replies, “Will you, Quintus?
Will I?”
As the general leaves to mount
his horse, he adds, “At my signal,
unleash hell.”
…this of course, was purely guy talk around a couple beers, but obviously good stuff! : -) Jeffrey didn’t simply quote things, no, he could easily go places where others would only dare. He could recite things at the appropriate time to help articulate a meaning or feeling, or to expand upon a story. And it could very easily be “your” story that he was expanding upon! ]
The diabetes and a Snickers bar in the brief case, the trips to Canada, his roots in Canada, a Porsche in Canada that he loved driving and eventually sold, Waterloo University, his taste for good Canadian beer, and so much more.
Jeffrey added a lot color to my life. Jeffrey helped make life interesting. He left us way too soon… it is terrible to see that he has left us, but Jeffrey was well aware this could happen anytime. He told me more than once he did not expect to live past 55, that the odds were stacked well against him living a long life. Nonetheless, however it came to be, it brings a big tear to my eye to know that he is gone — at least so from this world.
Ladd Austere
In loving memory from Jeff's friends and Vignette alumni at Adobe:
I wanted to write and say how truly saddened and upset we all are at the tragic loss of a great person. Jeff was one of those few individuals that we felt was more than just a co-worker. He was a friend. One you can count on, in good times and bad.
We all have many memories of Jeff. Every one of them brings a wonderful smile to each of our faces. I can’t count how many times a great conversation would begin with “Remember when Jeff….” Jeff may have been taken from us far too early, but those memories still remain.
On behalf of all the former Vignette employees at Adobe, we shed a collective tear and say goodbye to an amazing soul!
Johne Brennan
Natalie Huff
Mark Johnson
David McConnell
Ted Parken
Charles Rich
I worked with Jeff while at Vignette starting in 2001. When I switched into the SE position at Vignette, Jeff was the one individual that I emulated most. Not only was I astounded with his technical knowledge, I was always amazed how he had the entire room captivated. He could deliver any message better than anyone-- and to this day, was the best mentor that I had.
Intelligent, Comical (he could give the best impersonations!), and Genuine...
He will be truly missed...
I am so sorry.
God Bless.
Erin Bellomo
Sr. Systems Engineer
Content Management & Archiving
EMC Corporation
To the Vignette team,
On behalf of the Alfresco SE and Consulting organizations, we'd like to express our deepest condolences to the the entire Vignette organization, in particular to the sales team, SE's and family of Jeff Millar.
Jeff was the kind of person who made an impact just by being in the same room as you. If I were to be allowed only one thing to say about him, I'd say "He made me laugh."
Jeff's singular wit, knowledge of even the most trivial things, cheerfulness and positive attitude will not be forgotten.
Simply said, Jeff is our friend and we will sincerely miss him.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to all.
Please do not hesitate to contact us if there's anything we can do for you.
Respectfully,
Luis Sala,
Sr. Director of Solutions Engineering
Scott Davis
Director of Solutions Engineering
Peter Monks
Director of Services
Yong Qu
Director of Solutions Engineering
Michael Uzquiano
Director of Solutions Engineering
I had the pleasure of knowing Jeff during his first few years at Vignette and am overwhelming sad to learn that he is gone. Jeff was one of the all-time greats - not just as a professional, but as a person. His family is, I'm sure, proud of the person he was, and I hope these thoughts from his Vignette friends and colleagues are some comfort.
Jeff's intelligence, humility and humor were rare, and it was always a joy to sit and speak with him. He was always more interested in talking about you, which was remarkable when you started putting together how fascinating he was. If only people who are half as interesting could be even half as empathetic. I just stared at him when he told me "I flew helicopters for the U.N." and then wanted to get back to talking about me.
His love of language, and his admiration for those who use language well, was one of his most endearing qualities. There was no higher praise than receiving a compliment from Jeff regarding an email or a talk. To Jeff, the use of language was art, and he used his words as effectively as anyone I've ever worked with to educate and motivate others. Because of Jeff, I found myself reading the speeches of Winston Churchill, and it took longer to read them than it should have because I heard his voice in my head, doing Churchill's voice.
Like Jeff's ability to recall and quote famous passages, I recall entire conversations I had with him. He was a personal confidante and trusted fashion advisor ("when you are wearing a suit outside, always - always - wear sunglasses.") The people who worked with Jeff, including myself, became better people and better professionals because of him. How could we not? When you are close to someone who exudes nothing but honesty, integrity, passion and intelligence, how do you not become better for knowing him?
I proudly recall presenting Jeff with his first Vignette SE-of-the-Year Award. I will remember him as SE-of-All-Time.
With deepest sympathies,
- Barry Klein
I had the privilege and pleasure to work with Jeff a couple of times in Australia.
I admired his obvious genius, his amazing knowledge on just about any subject, his deep love of everything Vignette, his love of a good beer and his wicked and dry sense of humour.
When you worked with Jeff, you always knew who the smartest guy in the room was!
Cheers mate, you’re top bloke, we will miss you.
- Carl Jones, Melbourne
Although I had the opportunity to work with him on multiple customer accounts, regional user group meetings, and Vignette Villages for more than three years, I will always remember the loud laughs (or were they cackles?) that we shared at our desks in the San Francisco office. Jeff had an amazing ability of captivating an audience's attention with his Canadian sense of humor and natural gift of the gab - it was all in his delivery. He seemed to be in his element when discussing technology, movies, or the latest political joke. Jeff always...always...thought of others first and never shied away from lending advice or assistance. His good natured way is testimony to how we all should live our lives. I feel fortunate to have known Jeff. Please send my condelences to his family and friends.
- Geoff Morrissett
I write this with a heavy heart for the loss of a great colleague and an even better friend. I have known Jeff for many years including two years as a customer at Intermountain Healthcare. Jeff was key to Vignette closing that deal and as well as a huge help afterwards as well. When I joined Vignette, Jeff was my go to guy. He helped my through all kinds of jams and helped me to be successful. I was able to repay him a little bit by helping out on several of his sales demo projects. I am going to miss working with him. Jeff had a passion for work and life that is contagious and will be impossible to replace within our hearts and Vignette family. I know that Jeff felt very strongly about his work at Vignette and considered us a family, a feeling he shared with me on many occasions. Jeff is well loved by customers and colleagues alike. Who can forget his great enthusiasm for his work and most especially for helping customers. I believe Jeff has singlehandedly kept Ghirardelli and Scharffenberger chocolate in the black for the last several years with his much loved practice of keeping customers in the dark (chocolate that is). I hope that we can take a little something that we learned from Jeff and practice that in our lives to honor his memory. We are lucky to have known him. Thanks for the laughs, the great advice, the mentoring, the friendship. Indeed you will be missed. God be with you ‘til we meet again.
Sincerely,
- Matthew Brown
I worked with Jeff in my brief time at Vignette, we got to know eachother when I took over field marketing for the West but I knew him from the San Francisco office before then. We were friends and I wish I knew what to say here...I don't. Working at Vignette was like joining a family unlike anywhere I've ever worked, even if I haven't spoken to anyone in some months....its like family when we reach out or see eachother, missed, loved, there to help when needed and always happy to see eachother and catch up. Jeff was family and a big part of the culture there.
Jeff lit up a room, always had a warm smile, a laugh and a sense of humor paired with wit and acumen. He was a collegue, a teacher, a gentleman and friend. He always had pespective, whether it work or real ife and took on the world with gusto. I knew both his serious and his fun loving side, we had many long talks and I remember every word, raise of his eyebrows and depth of his grin. This is a great loss for anyone who knew him.
To Jeff's family- you created, influenced and raised a rare person filled with honesty, respect for others, generosity, great intelligence paired with humility and a fantastic sense of humor. Know that anyone who spent time with him won't forget him and my thoughts, love and prayers are with you.
- Corinne Koppel
My first encounter with Jeff was at Sales Kick Off in 2004, he was presenting Vignette’s ECM vision. I didn’t know who he was at the time but I could see that he had a passion and enthusiasm for his work and his colleagues. Over the next few years I got to know Jeff a bit and found him to be an engaging, intelligent and witty man.
My wife, Jayne, also met Jeff on a couple of occasions and they got on really well; Jeff had the ability to do this with anyone he met regardless of their background or status.
When I remember Jeff I always have a smile on my face.
His family should be extremely proud of Jeff. I feel privileged to have known him.
Thanks Jeff!!!
- David Redman
Jeff was one of the most brilliant SE’s I have ever worked with and he was truly devoted and loyal to Vignette. He always made me laugh, when we would get together for meetings, he would have a new joke and a bar of chocolate for me.
Jeff you will be missed!!!
- Natalie Huff
Sr Solutions Engineer
Adobe Systems Incorporated
Jeff Millar Dancing - a rare sight
Capturing video footage of Jeff dancing is probably akin to spotting an Amur Leopard, not impossible but, very rare.
https://harmony.vignette.com/gm/document-1.9.367525
Where: Sales Club Lanai
When: April 6th, 2006 – Luau Dinner Event
The sound wasn’t working on the video but, I think Jeff’s actions speak volumes.
Gary Morgan
P.S. And yes, just in case you are wondering Scott/Steve & Kevin, I have footage of you as well.
- Gary Morgan
I worked with Jeff for several years at Vignette. He was more than a coworker. He was a kindred spirit.
Every team get together, you could rely on Jeff to make quick witted remarks, to perform numerous impersonations (his Sean Connery rants would make me laugh till I cried), and to consistently poke fun at himself as well as others... especially French Canadians!
Maudit tabernac mon ami... you left us way too early!
- Scott Davis
I’m not sure why it seems those who are born with that special spark, aura and infectious hope seem to leave this life so early. Jeff’s insight and ability to part the fog with few words and a great smile will be deeply missed.
- David Graham
I remember chatting to Jeff at SKO 08, he had a black eye that he acquired in a pretty mundane way and sadly something to do with his diabetes as I recall, but he initially told me some elaborate story about being hit by a customer, it was really funny....
I am so saddened by this tragic passing, my thoughts are with Jeff's family.
- Enza Cufalo
The Master
Hi, today is very sad for me. I knew Jeff for a very long time, mainly through email but in some occasions we were together and we had very good fun.
I used to tell him: “hey Jeff, you are THE MASTER, how do you figure out the solution?” And every time he answered me, in a very humble way, “No Javier, all of us are the masters”.
I’ll miss him.
Regards, Javier.
Memories of Jeff from Jen Wachtel
Last night, during my elusive moments of sleep, I dreamt about Vignette. In my dream we were doing a reorganization of sorts- trying to move desks around in the Austin office. This dream was fraught with frustration because as much as we tried, we just couldn’t seem to make the new organization fit. Every change we made seemed off; nothing seemed “right”. That is how I feel about Jeff’s death. It seems off; it doesn’t seem right. To me, Jeff was the essence of Vignette and for the life of me, I just can’t seem to make sense of it- to make it fit in the context of Vignette, or any other context for that matter. I know in time it will become easier but for now, I’m not sure how to adjust to a Vignette without Jeff Millar in the equation.
Jeff Millar was my friend. He was a great friend- one of the best there ever was. To me, he was a confidant, my sounding board and in many ways a mentor to me when it came to steering my way through Vignette, and technology in general. He always had time to answer my questions, no matter how remedial they must have seemed to him. He might just be the smartest guy I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. But unlike many others with his knowledge, Jeff also felt that he could learn from others. He listened carefully when others spoke, absorbing it and processing it. He once told me that he had not always been that way. Early on in his career, he was in a customer meeting and attempted to “out-smart” the others in the room. The AE on the account was someone who Jeff admired and respected. He took Jeff into the hallway and said, “Look you know you are the smartest guy in that room. I know you are the smartest guy in that room. Not everyone in the room needs to know you are the smartest guy in the room.” It was a lesson Jeff learned and kept with him from that moment on.
I think perhaps in a parallel universe, Jeff would have made an excellent teacher. He sought pleasure in learning new things. He also delighted in being able to share his knowledge and explain things in a way others could understand. Although I know he was far superior in intelligence to me, he never made me feel like anything less than a genius. I used to joke with him that I needed him to “dumb it down” for me and he detested when I said that even though I assured him it was just a figure of speech. He used to say, “Don’t say ‘dumb it down’. I prefer ‘I can absorb it for you wholesale.’” Jeff certainly was particular about certain phrases and words. I will always remember that about him. In particular, he hated when people used the word “literally” in the wrong context and always cringed when people used the phase, “What are their care-abouts.” In some ways these little quirks were what made him the person he was. I mean, who else would say to me, “How many of us could use "hinged" as a past perfect verb?” when I told him a story about when I hinged at my hip and bowed too deeply in church one Sunday????
Jeff and I talked many times about how he felt he was born to be a Sales Engineer. It was his life’s work, and a true calling. He said to me, “If you know how something works, you are a good SE. If you know *why* it works that way, you are a great SE.” If he ever had a rough day at work, he would pull out his name tag from when he worked at McDonalds. He told me he kept it as a reminder that things could be a lot worse. He could still be flipping burgers. He had an interest in technology and loved gadgets of any kind. This interest apparently went all the way back to high school when he mentioned once he spent most of high school taking apart Commodore Pets and breaking into banks electronically… ELECTRONICALLY- and he didn’t take anything!!! He just wanted to see how/if it could be done. He used to love to show me how cool demos looked on his Mac, and the GPS gadget with real time traffic indications on his Blackberry almost put him over the top! I laugh now thinking about it. He once said, “If there are 1,000 gadgets in the world, having 999 is the same as having none.”
He was such a great help to me when it came to HPD. He spent countless, patient hours with me on the phone explaining why and how HPD worked. It was hard for his enthusiasm not to be contagious. I relied on him extensively when it came to anything involving customers and HPD. Many times I would ask if he was coming to an event, or attending a meeting and his standard response to me was, “If you need me there, I’ll be there.” At one event in particular, I was originally scheduled to handle the HPD “getting to know you” station and he was scheduled for Rich Media Services. At the last minute, we decided that it might be best to switch as the HPD station may have some pretty technical questions. I recall looking over and seeing his station flooded with people and commenting to him afterwards that it looked like moths to a flame over at his station. He responded, “Actually, it’s more like nerds to a pizza.” When I asked how it went and if we made the right decision in switching stations, he nodded and said, “Yeah, absolutely. You would have been toast.”
For the most part, those are all things most people already know about Jeff (except the breaking into a bank electronically and not stealing anything part). But beneath his sometimes gruff exterior, there was a man with a soft heart; a caring man that if you were lucky enough, he let you see that side of him. I feel compelled to share some additional, less well known things about Jeff.
I’m not sure if it was because he was Canadian or if it was just in his DNA, but Jeff was always conscious of being respectful of others and to not offend them. The example that stands out in my mind is the Vignette Day event in Salt Lake City. The event was at a building owned by the LDS church and Jeff really took to heart and respected the Mormon traditions while he was there with them- no caffeine, he wore a full suit, no curse words- you get the picture. He called me a few days before the event and asked if I ever met with the LDS church. I had not and so he explained his respect for their traditions during his visits with them. Then, in his polite Canadian demeanor, “suggested” to me that at the Vignette Day event, it might be worth considering my attire and if I didn’t have any issues with it, that it might be a good idea to consider, just consider, wearing pants to the event instead of a skirt so as not to potentially offend the LDS church in any way, shape or form. I found this particularly endearing and certainly heeded his guidance in that instance.
It wasn’t always advice that Jeff bestowed on people. To many flight attendants in the sky, and to many employees at Vignette, Jeff was getting quite a reputation for being The Chocolate Guy. He always carried Ghirardelli chocolates with him when he traveled and handed them to the flight attendants during his flight just to brighten their day. His tradition started a while back when he was on a flight and a passenger was being disrespectful to the flight attendant. He felt bad for her and gave her some chocolate he had with him to cheer her up. And so a tradition was born… He told me on one flight, when he handed some chocolate to the flight attendant while boarding, the flight attendant looked at him with awe and said, “I’ve heard about you! You are the chocolate guy.” This certainly made Jeff happy and he enjoyed doing the little things like that for people.
Over the Christmas holiday, I mentioned to Jeff that there was a family I knew that was having a rough time. The husband lost his job and they had three young children. They were really struggling to make ends meet and were having trouble buying food and making their mortgage payment. They were really in a dire situation. Without hesitation Jeff asked for their address and said he wanted to help them out. His only request to me was to not say a word to anyone about it. He wanted it to be an anonymous donation. A week later, I heard word from the family that they received an anonymous check from California and they felt so blessed because it was with that check that they were able to make their mortgage payment for the month. Until now I kept that secret but I felt compelled to share it because to me, that is Jeff Millar. A few weeks later, I asked him why he did it, why did he anonymously send money to a family he didn’t even know? His answer was short and sweet. It was a quote from one of his favorite movies “It’s a Wonderful Life”-
“George: no man is a failure who has friends.”
Jeff Millar was my friend and I will miss him dearly. I have to think that the struggle of living with severe diabetes just became too much for his body to handle. I have to think he is at peace now. I have to think that- for my own peace. Rest well my friend.
- Jen Wachtel
The Enola Gay at Safeway
A true mentsch. A good friend. A brother. And a fine professional example for all of us to follow.
Jeff was, at various times, a helicopter pilot, a piano player, and a Sales Engineer. And he was one of the wittiest, warmest people you could ever hope to meet.
Jeff and I worked on a very difficult POC at Safeway in 2004. He had inumerable troubles getting VCM to work with DB2, so they brought me in to fill some time with Safeway's developers. After he had fixed the problem, and well after we got the deal, Jeff made a slideshow depicting our POC efforts as the flight of the Enola Gay…complete with a mushroom cloud. What I wouldn't give to have that presentation again.
- Joe Morse
Jeff loved Vignette and he loved the people he worked with. Most of all, he loved being a sales engineer.
His intelligence matched his passion - both of which fed his humor and wit. He was always sure to keep us honest.
But most importantly Jeff was a dear friend. We walked together through the ups and downs of our lives, supporting each other in times of need and celebrating all that was good.
I'll miss him dearly.
- Scott Jewett